Friday, February 20, 2009

On having twins

?? Who knew that:

* It would be handy to bring along a red flag to my clinic appointments so that when they call my name, I can wave it and let them know that, yes, even though it will take me 3 minutes to get up out of this chair, I AM here. And no, you don't have to call my name a 3rd time!

* The Valentine's candy I would most appreciate would be a bottle of Tums - with sweet messages written on them of course - you could fit whole sentences on those babies! (That's the Tums, not the ACTUAL babies, for those of you who need clarification - you know who you are!)

* My body would actually get used to being this size and I would start walking more normally than I did 2 months ago.

* Thanks to information from my ultrasound tech: for all the moving around and actual swatting and kicking they do to each other in there, they do NOT come out bruised - generally.

* Everyone would have a doubly firm opinion on the genders of the babies - almost like a word from God. If only everyone would agree...

* These babies have a defined personality even within the womb - "Baby A" is rambunctious, "Baby B" is quiet and laid back, preferring not to show profile at all in any of the weekly ultrasounds.

* Even after several months of "largeness" I could still forget and go ahead and kneel on the cold hard floor of Cub in order to look at their $3.50 mascara (did I mention we're having 2 BABIES? Time to crack down!) only to realize that I was stuck there and needing several attempts at getting back up.

* When I go into Target to buy a roll of wrapping paper, I WILL need a cart.

* When I go into the post office to mail a package, I will need to lean my entire upper body on the counter as I wait in line in order to catch my breath. I guess my purse AND a 2 pound package is just too much weight to add.

* Having dreams that I'm on fire indicate that when I wake up, I will be reaching for the bottle of Tums due to my SEVERE heartburn.

* My husband would start "accidentally" buying items labeled low-fat, that we've never bought low-fat before. "Are you saying I'm fat?"

* Due to 3/4 of my maternity wardrobe not fitting anymore, I often go around with half my belly showing. And other than the occasional "you probably shouldn't wear that shirt out of the house" comment, my family has ceased to notice. Add to that the constant belching and LOW-ride jeans and the Miller Lite beer...
Oh yeah, no alcohol. I am, after all, on insulin.
Oh and I'm pregnant too. Alcohol's not good.

5 comments:

Michelle said...

Hilarious Sarah!!! I think you should write a book:) I especially like the comment on how everyone is so sure about the gender. It'll be interesting to see if Baby A is the first to come out, or maybe it'll be like Jacob and Esau and there'll be a bit of a dispute??:) (Though I'm sure it'll be hard to tell who is who on the outside compared to the inside)
Have you seriously had dreams that you're on fire? - If so, yikes, that is some serious heartburn!!

Just remember, you're almost there:) Praying for you!

Molly Koop said...

Is the cart for the wrapping paper (I know a roll of wrapping paper can be very heavy) or is it mostly for you to use like you would a walker? :)
God bless YOU and those BABIES!!

The VanHorn Family said...

Hi Sarah! Thanks for the incredibly insightful (and somewhat daunting) look at what the next four months has in store for me. :) I'm already waddling as it is! --Heather

Sarah said...

In response to all comments so far:
Yes, I've seriously had dreams where I'm on fire. I HOPE baby A is the first to come out - that'd be kind of scary! The cart at Target is for me, not the wrapping paper - those electric carts are looking better and better!
Sorry Heather! It's an adventure!! Look at it this way, it will all seem just normal to you with it being your first pregnancy and all:)

Laura said...

Go for the electric cart at Target! It was the only way I could get through the whole store when I had a broken leg. They are kind of fun, but beware, they beep when you are backing up. :)