We're in the process of totally re-vamping our discipline program. To preserve/restore sanity for all. Let us know if you have any suggestions.
The crime will be listed on the left with the punishment on the right. I'm looking forward to referring to the list in the coming days and just reading the punishment rather than trying to come up with something in the heat of the moment (with anger running rampant - it's amazing how angry you can get at a young child for playing with the milk cap/refusing to wear clean underwear/banging on the stair rail) and feeling like a bad mother. Besides, the "go to your room!" approach just isn't working...
By the way, this was a family affair. The boys helped with ideas for punishments. And of course there was a lot of, "What about when Caleb does..." and "Oh yeah, don't forget about when Sam..."
Lying...........................Hot Sauce (referred to as "spanking the tongue" by Lisa
Whelchel in
Creative Correction)
Violence (hitting, biting, pushing, etc.)...................Write an apology card
Yelling..........................Memorize a Bible verse (Prov. 25:28, James 1:19-20)
Huh...I may have the entire Bible memorized by the end of
next week!
Disrespectful talk........................suggestions please
Interrupting.......................Reading time (5 minutes per year of age)
Whining............................Physical exercise (Running around the house, jumping jax)
Arguing............................Extra pages of schoolwork
Willful disobedience.........suggestions please
Selfishness........................Stand on a low stool in a designated corner for x minutes
Slow obedience.................Additional chores (choose from the chore jar)
Coming out of the room at rest...........Positive Reinforcement: Extra "up time" for
not coming out given in 5-minute increments
per occasion of rest
Obnoxious table behavior.....................Must eat 2 lima beans for each incidence.
Must also sweep under the table after meal
Taking things without asking (stealing)........Mom or Dad chooses a special toy to
take away for a week
Destruction of property.............................Designated mess cleaner-upper for the rest
of the day
Aggravating car behavior..........................x minutes of silence with nose on knees
Complaining...............................................Pick a chore from the chore jar
Obnoxious laughter (at the moment, this is a very annoying behavior)...run in place
for 2 minutes
Clothes on the floor of the room.................1 drawer gets completely emptied out to
be refolded by offender
We're trying to make the punishment fairly related to the crime and for the time being to leave out spanking as a designated punishment. We've used it plenty in the past, with varying degrees of effectiveness, and with Noah being only 2 yet, he will still be getting his share of spankings as the punishments are a bit "old" for him yet. But for the other two, it's time to shake things up a bit. I would, however, be interested in your take on spanking - it's still in the running as a punishment for disrespectful talk and for willful disobedience. More on this in a later post.
Ideally, we also want to come up with a resolution for after the punishment is over, where they come and tell us why they were punished/corrected, and why it was wrong to do what they did. We will be attaching a few verses to each infraction for the kids to become familiar with because it's important for them to have Scriptural back-up for why they need to behave in a certain way. They can learn to respect the authority of God as well as the authority of their parents. Any great verses come to mind?
This was so refreshing for me to get down on paper. On the one hand, it's kind of fun after a long day of sending kids to their room, spanking, yelling, etc., to make a list of possible crimes along with how it will be punished in the future. On the other hand, it also makes me a bit more laid back with the kids because I feel like everything's "settled" - of course, it has only been about 4 hours since we started.